The Man's Rules

I got this from an online buddy. Hope you find this interesting, cos i really find it interesting. :)) oh, really, very interesting.

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At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys side of the story.(I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male’s point of view. These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered "1."ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers and never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability, however, is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! (for cryin’ out loud)

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials...

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, NOT a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf or basketball or cool gadgets.

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

…and lastly

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

-Cris Virgil Pescadero-