It’s 11:56 pm and you’re just done watching the movie you longed to watch then you think of going upstairs to your bed, but before that, you brush your teeth, you answer the call of nature and you turn your sala lights off. Now you’re in your bed and you close your eyes, but you know you can’t enter the dreamland that easily.
Life has given you a lot of burden on the act of sleeping and you think of all of these before you sleep.
Your journey to the dreamland is nearly impossible when you are, at first, deciding on what to read before going to sleep: whether Anansi Boys by Gaiman or The Historian by Kostova.
Anansi Boys was a good read and you want to read it again because you know it will be a good “reread” but you know you will find it hard to drop the book and you continue to read and the problem persists—you cannot and will not be able to sleep.
And The Historian will not be a good option to read before you sleep because it will only give you the chill you don’t want to have before sleeping, and if you do read the book it will scare you a bit you will find it hard to close your eyes and that you open it to check whether Dracula is beside you, and you close your eyes for you not to see if he really is there, and you open it again just to be sure, and the problem is still there—you can’t sleep.
Or you open the encyclopedia volumes 3B and 6D that you’ve been reading the past nine years since you were in grade school but you decide not to read the volumes at all because it will only give you lots of things that you end up memorizing and putting the things you read in your mind and that your mind keeps on working that you think of everything and that, again, you can’t sleep because you are thinking of everything.
You set books aside, and you find it hard to sleep when you know that it’s raining cats and dogs, and that you presume that cats and dogs might cut the power down and that your lights will turn off and that it will add to your difficulty in sleeping when you worry of sleeping alone in a dark room that you had a problem with since you were younger and that the rain will keep on making sounds that will keep your ears disturbed for the rest of the night, setting aside the fear that the heavy rain will cause power breakdown.
And the dogs keep on barking, no, not the dogs that you were referring the previous paragraph, but the dogs from your neighborhood and yours yourself that are making it hard for you to concentrate on the act of sleeping when these dogs feel like making noise during these times and you ask yourself why in the world do these dogs make your life miserable especially this time of the night when your utmost concern is just to enter the dreamland and not to mind of dogs after all, and by that you think you might want to cut the heads of those dogs off.
And that you feel like there is wrong with your digestive system you already had gone to the lavatory twice this day just to release the unwanted waste in your body but then it’s keeping you up this time of the night because you worry about yourself you think this feeling might be a disease or a malfunction of your system or worse, cancer, and you think of it you have difficulty going to sleep and more so, the feeling of uneasiness and unwanted feeling forbid you to have a good and wonderful trip to the dreamland.
And then you close your eyes but someone pops in your head when you should not be thinking of someone, no, not only one but many, some“many,” and that you keep on thinking about that some“many” and you think of what you’ve been through together when you should not be thinking of those things this part of the day because it’s time to sleep but then you realized the power of a memory that you force yourself to forget and erase the memory that you, for a long time, forbade yourself to remember but it only gave you difficulty and burden on the act of sleeping.
And then you write these things down and you worry if you can sleep because you will be thinking if you will be going online tomorrow to post this as a blog or just have it as is, and you still have the feeling of uneasiness in your tummy, you still hear the dogs barking, you still worry on the heavy rain, you still think of some“many” and you still find it hard to decide on what to read before going to sleep and you will be going to the lavatory because you will urinate because you have spent at least thirty minutes writing this and your toooooooot feels heavy—you assume—of urine, and then the problem still persists when you worry if you ended this piece the right way and you read this over and over, again and again, just to come up with a good piece, and the journey to the dreamland is nearly impossible.
And when you came back from the lavatory you realized that you are the only one awake and you read this again and you fill missing words and you try to sleep never minding the shock and scare that you just had when a very big mouse appeared while you were doing your thing.
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